CHICKEN BREADCRUMS.

I drink a lot of Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola Zero to be precise. Litres.
 
It was a very lazy Sunday. Dreadfully unproductive. I despise unproductiveness. My brain is kind of programmed that way. It’s a very weary internal battle that I have each and every day. It’s in my nature to be the biggest lazy ass motherfucker on earth, but I was programmed as an obsessive high achiever wannabe.
 
It’s gruesome. A conceited call for usefulness intends to murder my slothfulness, but procrastination comes to rescue her. They fight, they stab each other and they agonize. Victory never comes out of a war, only guilt.
So, to palliate this feeling (one of the most unpleasant ones I know), the one of guilt, I’ve decided to do something before I go to sleep.
Firstly, I’ll post. I can’t let my innate luck of persistence and inability to keep projects going for a long time to jeopardise this very much-cherished initiative.
 
I feel really full. I felt like having chicken nuggets, and I was fortunate enough to find two chicken breadcrumbs at m entire disposition in the fridge.
I might draw for a bit now. I should seriously go back to my gay porn art. I’ll put some of my sketches here eventually.
 
Somehow, I just remember a line from Lost in Translation.
I went to see a movie yesterday. It was from a Greek director. It was called something like “Attenberg”. It was nice, but a bit slow for my taste.
 
I drink more than I think I should. I need to avoid that.
I’m having this very strange feeling. Something like excitement. And I’m very much not aware of what is causing it. Just as a possibility, I’m considering that I might have started to seriously loose it.
I always knew I was on my way to lunacy and madness.
 
I wish I could read some peoples minds now and then. I’d enjoy it very much.
I know it probably sounds rather self-absorbed to say this, but what people think of me is a fascinating subject to my comprehension.
 
It would be a very nice idea, to get my hand on some good literature to fill my brains with, wouldn’t it?
Who the fuck am I asking this to? I mean, is not like the computer screen is gonna advice me about what to read, right?
God I’m weird.
 
Sometimes I can’t help but to feel that my IQ has significantly decreased over the past 5 years, because of my abuse of certain substances grown-ups tend to utilize rather frequently to ease the stress out of their lives.
After a night of substantial numbing, I wake up the next day, feeling a little more stupid.
I’m destroying one of my most valuable resources. I’m obliterating my mind.
If you pay close attention, you might even get to detect the gradual deterioration, and in a few years, it’ll be really fun to compare my first posts to my more recent ones.
Of course we all know this project won’t last over a year or so.
 
I might be overreacting.
 
My house is so quiet. That’s one of the things I like the most about the night-time.
I’ve been dreaming a lot lately. I usually do, but lately I’ve been thinking about my dreams a bit more. Last night, I had to drive my car across a very unstable and precarious suspension bridge. I was going to some strange city, where I ended up taking a shower in a communal bathroom, in some kind of very American looking high school building or something like that.
 
I’m starting to feel sleepy. I want to accomplish things. A fortune-teller told me I was going to end up as a successful and a little bit unhappy person. I liked it. I found it comfortable. … I’m one strange dude.
 
I feel like swimming, but it’s rather cold. We are well past summer.
I’ll hang on to daydreaming; that I’m good at.