OUT OF SHIT.

Once, this friend of mine told me he thought I was full of shit. I was quite offended by this comment, but at the same time I couldn’t help wondering what is it exactly that triggered such perception of my persona in that twisted mind of his. Ok, as I was writing this, it just became clear that showing this much care on what other people think of my persona is basically portraying me with extreme immediateness as particularly self-centered. You know what? Fuck it, maybe I actually am so. The idea of proudly adopting self-centeredness as an inevitable and welcomed feature in my character is something that I wouldn’t normally embrace, but maybe, encouraged by the memory of the “you’re full of shit” comment, I’ve come to realize that actually that might just be the case. Let me briefly explain: I’ve no idea what my friend was referring to when he quoted that, what he was basing this judgment on, but I’ve just read what I wrote the other day, that new entrance after such a long time no see, and I couldn’t help but feeling I sound like a completely idiotic flakey brat. All that whining and complaining about how awful things are, when I have nothing to complain about. The only thing I should be unhappy with is how air-filled my head is, how lazy I’ve become and how much I dread having to step up and face my fucking life. If that doesn’t make you someone full of shit by itself, let’s add to the mix how big of a deal I make out of other people’s perceptions of me, and there you go, the result is an ego-centered, flakey, air-headed, plaintive brat.

So now, I’ve nothing left but to embrace being full of shit as just another one of my many traits, and the first thing I’m gonna do, is to try to be less apologetic about it. Maybe then, the entire premise will loose its core and I’ll end up cancelling the whole thing and passing on to the other side, the one for people that are actually out of shit.